Wake up and smell the coffee:

If you now know that this is going to be a full fledged divorce and a very combative divorce one at that, then its time to take stock of the situation, wise up and make a plan. Unlike many plans we develop to win (particularly in businesses or war) , this will be a plan to win for your future and those of your children. It is not a short term win you are looking for but a long term strategy that helps ensure that the damage from the divorce is minimized for the children and what remains of the splintered family.

The objective is to make it a non-toxic divorce; make it as non-contentious as possible. This is not always easy.

According to Psychology Today, in the blog “How to Handle a Toxic Divorce”

Many courts define it as a “high conflict divorce” where each party escalates the contention. The toxic divorce, as I define it, is when one party wants to dissolve the marriage in a more equitable way while the other person not only refuses to cooperate, but they create a consistent string of chaos and ill will.